Unexpected ending.

Feelings.

  Sad to say, my boyfriend and I aren't together anymore. It's been more than three months since we broke up. But I still see him everyday in school because he's my classmate. We only have a week left before vacation so I won't be able to see him again. I think it is better for us. We never talk for more than three months and we never got a formal break up. We just never talked. That's all. And I think it is not good to just keep it that way. Who wants that kind of relationship right?

    I admit I have done so many mistakes. I hurt him. But it doesn't change the fact that he hurt me more and I wish I could still express how I feel. We made lots of promises. We shared many memories. But we didn't keep our love stronger. We let the fire die. We let our hearts drift apart without even knowing if it still beats as one. And as a partner, I have a responsibility to do, and that is to love him unconditionally. And by saying unconditionally, I would've love him like I'm gonna lose him, love him without doubts and full of trust. I should've make him happier when he was by my side. I should've respect his feelings. I should've understand him more, and I should've love him absolutely. I wasted all the chances that I had because I never think that we will separate our own ways. I failed as a partner. I failed as a companion. The only thing that I regret is I didn't showed enough love for him. I didn't make him feel loved and happy enough in order for him to stay longer with me. I wasted all of it. I know my love is not enough. That's why I failed.

   We fight often and sometimes I don't like the way he treated me. I never felt that he is proud to have me. He always make fun of me in front of our friends. He didn't even introduce me to his parents. He didn't respect me. He did stupid decisions and he was not thinking enough of the consequences of what if something bad happened. I don't know if he cared about my feelings but if he did, I bet everything have changed. He was always "pasaway" and he said things to me which it breaks my heart. "masyado nang below the belt ang mga sinasabi niya sakin." When he did something wrong, I forgive him the very next day or after few hours. But if I did something wrong, yeah he forgive me but he will never forget it and he will bring it back if we fight again. I know I'm a moody person. Sometimes I'm so cheerful then after few minutes I'm irritated at everything and I think that's the reason why he gave up on me. because I am understandable. I thought he will love everything about me. He will love me for who I am but he did not.

   Thank you Joemarie. Salamat sa lahat ng natutunan ko sayo. Kaso di mo tinapos ng maayos ang relasyon natin. Sana naman may chance pa tayo para magpaalam sa isat isa ng maayos kung hindi na magwowork talaga. Humihingi ako ng tawad sa lahat. Nakikita kong happy ka na. Sana maging happy ka na lagi at makita mo na ang totoong magpapahalaga sayo. Goodluck sa future!  I hope by ending this relationship, it will give a good and better memories ahead. I hope it will make us a better person. And to know who we are.